Hitting 50: When Your Wardrobe, Body, and Face All Decide to Rebel (A Midlife Dilemma)
Turning 50 last year felt like crossing a milestone with grace. Little did I know, my life was about to turn into a comedy of errors or at times horrors. Here's a peek into the hilarious (and sometimes horrifying) realizations that come with hitting the big 5-0.
The Great Wardrobe Betrayal
Packing for a trip to Turkey with my son, I felt confident in my wardrobe choices. As soon as we hit Istanbul, it was clear: my favorite outfits had conspired against me. That flowy dress that once screamed "effortlessly chic" now whispered "trying too hard." And those jeans? They seemed to have shrunk (yes, let's go with that) and were now hugging me in all the wrong places. It was as if my closet had staged a revolt while I wasn't looking.
Starting a Blog: Better Late Than Never
In a bid to regain control, I started a blog. Because why not? If teenagers can become overnight internet sensations, surely a 50-something can too, right? But here's the thing they don't tell you: trying to understand SEO, social media algorithms, and the concept of "engagement" can make you feel like you're back in school, only this time, the teachers are all millennials who speak in hashtags.
The Chiropractic Adventure
Then, there was the visit to the chiropractor. My back, having served me loyally for decades, decided it had enough. As I lay on the table, waiting for that satisfying crack, I couldn't help but wonder if this was my life now: exchanging spa days for spinal adjustments. The chiropractor, a cheerful young man, assured me that my spine was just "expressing itself." Great, now even my spine has an attitude.
The Madonna Facial: Because Why Not?
As if to reclaim my youth, I splurged on a Madonna facial. This magical treatment promised to turn back the clock. As I lay there with a mask that made me look like a sci-fi movie extra, I imagined emerging as a rejuvenated version of myself. The result? I looked… rested. Maybe even slightly more radiant. But was I ready to be confused for my son's sister? Not quite. Still, every little bit helps, right?
The Ultimate Realization
The ultimate realization, though, is that turning 50 is more about attitude than appearance. It's about embracing the changes, laughing at the mishaps, and realizing that life doesn't come with a script. So, here's to the next 50 years—may they be filled with as much laughter, adventure, and maybe a few less rebellious wardrobes.
To anyone out there who’s hitting this milestone or has already crossed it, remember: age is just a number, but laughter lines? They tell the best stories. Cheers to 50 and fabulous!